TL;DR: I experience a split-attraction model: romantically I am biromantic, while sexually I am gynesexual/heterosexual. I have long misunderstood the term “sexual orientation” in English; in Chinese, my situation does not fit neatly into the traditional, commonly used labels (同性恋 / 异性恋 / 双性恋).

From an early age I recognised that my romantic and sexual attractions do not always align, although I did not learn the term “split-attraction model” until recently. I may feel romantic attraction to someone because of their personality or their warm, kind behaviour towards me. However, people who attract me romantically usually do not attract me sexually, and I deliberately forbid myself from having sexual fantasies about them because such fantasies provoke moral guilt. Instead, I am sexually attracted to people who appear sexually appealing, and over two thirds of them are people whom I dislike or with whom I have enmity.

Until the autumn of 2025 I identified as both heterosexual and heteroromantic, so I had not examined this matter closely. Since autumn 2025 I have increasingly found myself developing romantic attraction to men. Because I misunderstood the English terms “homosexual”, “bisexual” and “sexual orientation”, and despite remaining sexually attracted to women, from 5 November 2025 I began to describe myself as “bisexual” in my FAQ. I have recently realised that this characterisation may have been mistaken.

I have never been sexually attracted to men. By contrast, I find sexual intercourse with men unacceptable on hygiene grounds. Nevertheless, over the past several months I have often felt affection for certain men despite a lack of sexual attraction.

One more point: whether the person is female or male, for those I feel affection for (even in the absence of sexual attraction) I anticipate non-sexual physical contact (for example, hugging).

After consulting a large language model, I have confirmed the following points:

1. Recent research indicates that romantic attraction and sexual attraction are not always concordant.
2. My experience is described by the split-attraction model, which distinguishes sexual attraction from romantic attraction and allows them to point to different groups of people.
3. The term “sexual orientation” is commonly used to describe sexual attraction; in that sense I have been and remain heterosexual.
4. My affection for others without sexual attraction — whether directed at women or men — is best described as romantic attraction; in that respect I am biromantic.
5. Many people experience split attraction, and many desire non-sexual physical intimacy while not expecting — or even actively avoiding — sexual activity.
6. In Chinese, terms such as “性取向”, “同性恋” and “异性恋” typically do not distinguish between sexual and romantic attraction; they commonly assume concordance. My confusion arose largely from differences between the Chinese and English usages, and none of the Chinese terms adequately describe my case.

In conclusion: I am biromantic and gynesexual/heterosexual.

Finally, two clarifications:

1. Because I remain sexually attracted to women, I do not identify as LGBTQ+. Nevertheless, I will remain respectful and inclusive towards LGBTQ+ people.
2. Regardless of gender, my primary requirement for a future partner is that they be a staunch free-software advocate; this is non-negotiable. There are also many people who are not free-software advocates who nevertheless attract me romantically; I would treat such people as close friends.